Working Woman

Hello!

First, I would like to start out with an announcement: I've been accepted to be a student blogger for the University of Denver Study Abroad Program, so I will be blogging regularly while I am studying abroad in Zanzibar.  I'm so excited to have been offered this position, and it will definitely force me to keep writing and think about my experiences abroad more and what they mean.

But that's not what this blog post is about.  I've been working two jobs this summer, one in DU Admissions as a tour guide and one doing research in a biology lab on campus.  This is the first time in my life where I've basically been an adult - working 30 hour weeks, cooking and cleaning for myself, and really being independent and I love it.  This occasionally means eating ice cream for a meal or two, but that's a perk of being an adult, right?  I've been thinking a lot about being an adult and working, and my recent experiences with one of my jobs is the inspiration for this post.

I am one of only two women working in the lab, and the only female undergraduate student working there.  I'm not saying this is a contributing factor, but recently, I've felt a bit under appreciated.  I've spent the past few weeks blaming it on other people, and I think now some of that is definitely on me.  While there have been times that some of my problems were definitely not able to be controlled by me, I'm the one who hasn't spoken up about what I want and what I'm unhappy about.  And not to stereotype, but I feel like this is a problem for a lot of working women, especially in a male-dominated environment.

I tend to think that since I am basically the lowest on the totem pole in lab when it comes to level of education, I don't have a right to speak up for what I think I deserve, and I think this has contributed to some of the stress I've been feeling recently.  What I've been doing recently is just saying "Yes" whenever I'm asked to stay late or come in early, when I really just want to come in when I'm supposed to.  This is something I've seen with a lot of women - just agreeing to whatever they're asked even if they don't want to do it.  There's nothing wrong with saying that you've been in work enough hours this week, so you're going to take some time for yourself (okay, maybe not ALL the time or in every position) but for example, I'm only supposed to work in lab for a maximum of 20 hours per week, and I racked up 15 hours by this Wednesday, so I didn't go in on Thursday (mostly because I had work all day at my other job, but that's beside the point).

Another thing I've noticed is the amount of times I say "sorry" in one day.  I have apologized for the strangest things, mostly to other people who should probably be apologizing to me.  And I think this is definitely a problem with a lot of women - why do we apologize so much?  Men do the same things and don't apologize.  I read an article recently about women apologizing too much, and it has really made me conscious about the number of times I say "sorry", and it's quite a lot.  There are times where it's needed - like the time I completely screwed up an experiment in lab and felt awful - and yes, I did apologize to the graduate student I work under, but instead of apologizing multiple times and continually bringing it up like I've done in the past, I apologized once and moved on, and you know what?  It felt awesome!  There was definitely no need to apologize about it more than once, even though I felt like I should and felt awful about messing up, but what was it going to accomplish?  Nothing except an annoying undergrad who won't stop saying "I'm sorry".

The statistics about women making less money than men also got me thinking about why that is when two people do the same amount of work.  Having been working since I was sixteen, I have never asked about a raise or about money or paychecks, and yes, that's normal for a teenager and young twentysomething, but I had a recent experience that actually worries me for my future moneymaking potential.  As part of me working in lab, I receive a stipend to cover my rent as well as getting paid for my hours on top of that.  I was told I would receive a certain amount before I started working this summer, then got a not-so-great email after my first day saying that the total amount I would get, including stipend for rent, was being cut in half.  Terrified, I approached the professor I work under and made it known that I was counting on that money for important things, like food, and while my complaint didn't end in a reverse of that cut (I also apologized at the end of this conversation), I think I got across that I wasn't happy and that I will stand up for what I believe to be right.  But I should not have been that nervous going in to my boss and talking about money I truly believe I deserve, and I hope I can become more comfortable with this in the future when it's a salary, not just hourly pay.

So the moral of the story is that women seem to be under this impression that we're lucky enough to have a good job, so let's just keep it at that.  That's totally wrong.  Yes, I'm extremely grateful for the fabulous work opportunities I've had, but that doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to ask for more if I believe I deserve it and can back up that claim with examples and facts.  This is something that I just realized and am now trying to implement it in my life because it's important to stand up for yourself!  One thing I really recommend is to try to keep track of the number of times you apologize in one day, and when you do (it's inevitable - I apologize for walking by people sometimes) think about whether or not an apology is warranted.  It's one word, but it can really impact the idea that some people have of you, especially in a work environment, but at home and in school too.

Thanks for reading!

Kim